In honor of our empty white collar prisons, The Final Edition looks at some great Americans who, despite their undeniable lack of ethics, have bravely stayed out of jail. For last week's edition, click here.
Alan Greenspan - Former Federal Reserve Chairman
Despite his resemblance to later-stage Gollum, this Un-jailed American's real "precious" was the secret shadow banking system that he repeatedly endorsed and legitimized. "Irrational Exuberance!!" was his fake warning cry, but in truth, Greenspan was an rabid advocate of the flexible mortgages, derivatives, relaxed regulations, Bush tax cuts, and general Ayn Rand-ed-ness which dug the hole out of which we're still climbing.
With a Fed Chairmanship that began in the 1980s, he helped inflate the Savings & Loan bubble (which burst), the Asian market bubble (which burst), the tech bubble (which burst), the real estate bubble (which burst), and the derivative products bubble (which… you get it).
Despite these failures - all based upon his unwavering promotion of markets of intangible goods - he earned a reputation as a financial genius. Unable to let it go, he keeps popping up, publishing books, sort of apologizing, and generally yelling nonsense from the balcony seats he shares with Statler and Waldorf, where all three of them celebrate his not being in jail.